Calm in the chaos.

“ Focus on positive”, “ Good vibes only “ “Think positive” all of these quotes are helpful during days we feel low but it seems mentally exhausting to me to always push away negative thoughts and maintain positive state all the time. I wonder if it is possible for a normal person living in society looking after family, having to complete deadline at work , wanting to achieve success in life to just be chirpy and focus on positive all the time. We have tons of problems of different varieties, different dimensions in our lives and just pushing away negative thoughts seems temporary solution.

I feel such quotes are easy to read as we scroll through our phone galleries but difficult to implement. Sometimes the idea of just focusing on positive, this constant pressure to be chirpy all the time and discussing our issues making others give  us the tag of “ negative person” makes one feel fearful to accept and share  negative emotions which slowly leads to path of depression. Is it really bad to discuss so called “ negative emotions” with our loved ones?! Why is one made to feel guilty if he/she experiences emotions that are not in line with being positive?! Is it really necessary to segregate emotions as negative or positive?! Im in no way against organisations that promote the idea of being positive. I, myself, have been follower of few such organisations. I feel there is general misinterpretation for some percentage of people or maybe my misinterpretation about their misinterpretation about the whole idea of focusing on positive.Too confusing ?! I got confused too after reading the above line.

Anyways, I believe that categorising emotions as negative and positive is not necessary because that gives undue pressure and guilt if we associate our emotions with the word “negative”. So what are we suppose to do if we don’t associate our emotions with these terms and memorise the quotes of positivity during hard times, which does help every time says my own personal experience but it’s just till we are scrolling through all of it then again it’s back to square one feeling those rush of uncomfortable emotions which we were suppressing creeping in us again. One might ask what shall we do in such circumstances?! Are we suppose sit and accept sadness ? Yes, but just accepting these uncomfortable (negative) emotions will lead us to the path of depression. so, after accepting all our emotions positive and negative we can work on the emotions that make us uncomfortable (negative) try to solve those problems that makes us experience these uncomfortable emotions depending on it being it outward or inward.

Now, it’s not practically possible to always change and solve the outward situation to help us get rid of uncomfortable emotions so in such cases we can accept our negative emotions and try to change our perspective on it and sometimes even when that seems impossible instead of feeling like failure because we don’t have control on our own thoughts just accept it and move on instead of just pushing those thoughts away and it won’t be easy but either accepting and addressing it or accepting and moving on depending on the situation will help us eradicate those uncomfortable emotions for a very long time and once when we have accepted all our emotions we feel free and that constant pressure to push away uncomfortable (negative) thoughts and act all positive won’t be necessary because when there is no negative we are only left with positive.

There is a state beyond positive and negative which is “thoughtlessness”and often this word is associated with saints meditating in Himalayas and it’s difficult but not impossible to achieve such state and many organisations that I know of help people to effortlessly achieve such state and be positive in true sense by either concentrating on techniques of “ pranayama” or work on soul level by meditation and two such organisations that I personally have been part of are “Art of living” during my childhood and  since few years “ samarpan meditation”. Both of these organisations and insightful talks and readings  of other organisations on the subject of spirituality have helped me find my calmness in the worldly chaos.So, if you ever feel you need to find your inner peace you can search the names of the above organisations or any other organisations names which can help you or even scroll through “being positive” quotes if it helps you to find peace in the chaos.

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subject-verb agreement.

In this chapter we shall see the rules relating to subjectverb agreement. It’s important for that a verb must agree with its subject in number and person. We often mismatch the verb and it’s subject and the rules of grammar mentioned below will help us differentiate between right and wrong usage.
1. A singular subject takes a singular verb and a plural subject will take a plural verb.
Example: The remains of Harappa valley civilisation were discovered after India’s independence.
2. Two or more singular nouns or pronouns that are joined by ‘and’ require a plural verb.
Example: Harry and John are among the few contestants that are selected for the competition.
3. Two or more singular subjects that are joined by ‘or’ or ‘nor’ require a singular verb.
Example: Neither a building nor a tree was left from getting ruined.
4. Indefinite pronouns like anyone,anybody,someone,no one etc and distributive pronouns like each, neither, either will be followed by a singular verb.
Example: Nobody was there in the meeting.
5. Some adjectives like most, more take singular or plural verbs depending on the context.
Example: Most of it is correct.
Takeaway: A verb must agree with its subject in number and person.
Exercises.
1. There was ( ) neither food or water in the camp. ( were,was)
2. None of his friends ( ) in India. (stay,stays).
3.Neither of my kids ( ) to school.(goes,go).

Reference: Basic reference material -theoretical verbal textbook.

Following one’s passion.

Job satisfaction is a term used to measure workers satisfaction with their job. It’s a term used very frequently in every organisation amongst people but the experience of being dissatisfied with one’s job can lead a person into utter depression. When can one say one is truly satisfied with a job?! Everyone might have different parameters to judge satisfaction in job. For some work that includes completing targets might be their dream job because it helps them perform better while taking up challenges for some the same job may lead to sleepless nights and anxiety attacks in sales meet of the year. Once in a while everyone gets the sudden rush to just press the elevator button of our office corridor and never to return to the desk neatly piled with files and frames of our family picture which helps us get through the weekdays in a job which we don’t like. It’s said following ones passion makes one love his/her job. How much of that holds true in today’s scenario when following passion ultimately lends one into a job where one is not allowed to express or utilise his or her set of skills rather trained to be a robot to abide by rules of working in the same pattern as mentioned by the organisation rather than letting the person who studied day and night to get a degree so that he/she can follow his/her passion only to be disappointed by changing jobs being tagged as a job hopper or lazy enough to work hard. Yes, rules and regulations are to be followed and in some critical jobs it becomes essential to follow but there are fields where the output of the same work by following different methods is possible so why not let the employee use his/her strengths and give the company the best results?! Is the method so important than the result if both the methods are equally good and moral?! To give an example, teaching is an art and allowing the teachers to use his/her skills set will lead to better outputs but sadly in some cases teachers are given a set pattern in the way they are suppose to deliver the lessons and a slight change in the pattern could get one in trouble?! Aren’t teachers there to make the students understand the concept in the simplest possible manner and won’t a teacher be able to deliver the lessons in the way in which he/she is the most comfortable in . Has teaching become so mechanical where all the teachers are suppose to just do rote method of the way they are suppose to teach and deliver the same in the class?! Is it wrong if one teacher is more comfortable using visual teaching aids for the same topic and the other is more comfortable with story narration for the same topic ?!                                                                          
“Follow your passions” is easier said than done. Following ones passion isn’t easy because there is no guarantee that it will lead one to be successful right away in most cases never because we lose the patience and decide to change our field of job and when that happens you feel lost, disheartened because that’s the only thing in the world we know and which makes us happy but we are so emotionally down we don’t realise the fact that patience is the key and so we change fields, change jobs to be able to splurge money like our counter parts and yes, we do succeed to land a job which gives hefty pay check but no five star meals or designer bags makes us happy and satisfied so one day we give it all up at the risk of being tagged as “fool” and decide to take our cars in reverse gear and press the restart button to follow our passion again which still doesn’t guarantee success right away but it gives us the happiness no money could.
Well, we live in real world everyone can’t afford to just leave everything and follow their passions by give up their job but can we during our spare time decide to do something that we are passionate about?! Maybe take up a cooking class if one has always dreamed of starting their own restaurant or take up an art class while still working with numbers on weekdays. won’t it put a smile on our faces in anticipation for the coming weekend class activity that we so feel passionate about?!

Life isn’t easy and it will never be everything doesn’t go as planned but that’s the fun and challenging part of it to be able to enjoy ourselves by trying to make the best of every situation. So, let’s just decide to do something that we feel passionate about even if it means devoting just one hour to it on weekend.

Articles.

Article modifies the noun. There are two articles in English language “the” and “a/an”.
Rules.                                                                         1. “The” is used for singular and plural nouns but the noun has to be specific.
Example– The door is still open.
2. “An” is used with singular noun beginning with a vowel (a, e, I, o, u).
Example– He returned after an hour.
3. “A” is used with singular noun beginning with a consonant.
Example– she was a good writer.

Takeaway– Two articles in English language “the” is used with singular and plural nouns and it has to be specific, “an” is used with singular nouns that begin with vowels and “a” is used with singular noun which begins with a consonant.

Exercises.
1.she is mischievous girl in the class. (a, an, the)
2.Gold is precious metal. (a, an, the)
3.He was honest man. (a, an, the)

French terms used in English language.

Some of the foreign terms (French) are often used in English. Today, we shall have a look and get familiar with some of the terms.

1) avantgrade– ahead of times.
2) beauxarts– fine arts.
3) beau monde– fashionable society.
4) Cidoux– love letter.
5)  c’est  la vie– that’s life
6) passé– out of date or fashion.
7) mot juste– the exactly appropriate expression.
8) faux pas– blunder.
9) déjà vu– sense of having undergone before something being experienced for the first time now.
10) volteface– about turn, policy reversal.

Source:theoretical verbal vocabulary & usage (basic reference material).

A broken promise.

We all have learnt in our grammar classes how words & sounds are combined together to make a sentence. We speak hundreds to few thousands of words in a day to communicate with each other and most of the conversations we fail to remember the next day. How much do we really value our words?! How many times do we commit or make a promise to someone only to break it without any guilt?! We all had a childhood friend with whom we made a pact to never grow apart and now when we think about those words we laugh it off thinking it to be kiddish or meaningless. We think how is it possible to stick to a promise of childhood.we grow and change just like those pinky childhood promises seems foolish so does those teenage first love promises made while gazing at stars holding hands. soon the professional world reinforces our idea that making false promises work commitments is part of life and it’s okay to bluff things as long as it gives peace at that present moment. We soon unconsciously start using such promises, making commitments at every place to so many people and take it so lightly and shrug it off when someone tries to remind us the importance of our commitment to our social circle/ work circle.we all might have at some point in our life played the victim card when someone promised to love us every single day for years to come and then in a second unapologetically leaves with no explanation and we immediately include the name of the person in our hate list. Why do we always play the blame game on the person who replicates our own behaviour ?! Don’t we all live with the guilt of breaking someone’s heart at some point of time or bitching about the long lost friend with whom you discovered the meaning of true friendship. Most of Our promises hold the value of zero and are just made at our intense emotional moment of feelings for the other person. We fail to realise that our one promise got someone building his/her future life around us and when we bombard them with the practicality of life we make the sin of breaking someone’s heart. We as humans need to know the value of a commitment/promise and make it only when we are sure that we will be able to fulfil it and in situations where we are puzzled or are unable to make a promise due to any reason can’t we just free the other person by being honest about our state of mind instead of making promises and getting other person dreaming about their future with us. If each person refrains from making promises unless sure about living by those words and perform the actions in accordance with the promise made to the other person won’t we and others save ourselves from unnecessary arguments at work place and hatred and broken hearts.

Living OR leaving the moments.

Buzzzzz… ring ring… everywhere you go and whoever you see people are always with their utmost dear companion unless you have been living under a rock but now with various advertisements promising networks in the remotest places I’m sure we all have guessed yes, our lifeline ‘phone’.It seems impossible in today’s day and age to imagine a life without phone. I say this with experience of my dear and near ones whose faces I vaguely remember because they are busy with their heads down into their phones when we meet for weekend lunch. I read in a local newspaper about hospitals being flooded with people mostly teenagers and young adults for help to get rid of phone addiction. Is it just teenagers and young adults?? I see 8-9 months old babies crying hysterically unless shown their favourite rhyme on phone or allowed to swipe with tiny little chubby hands some random things on phone. Are we moving to an age where being glued to phones, constantly checking phones in office meetings and forgetting table etiquettes the new normal? When everyone assumes everyone to be on social networking sites and if the person denies to use one he/she is either labelled either a liar or someone with abnormal tendencies. Are we so low on our self worth that we get upset or happy depending on the likes of our picture? Clicking pictures and creating memories, being in touch with people, voicing our opinions on social media and many more opportunities are a boon but misusing the advancement of technology will only wake up us to news of more and more youngsters suffering from depression and to shocking news of people falling of a cliff while clicking selfies.Talking about our day with family, having silly fights with siblings, Playing sports with friends, stopping people to ask for directions and gossiping with our girl gang over coffee seems like history. The day we all come out of our denial mode of living a balanced life which isn’t too difficult from my personal experience of many years ago and limit our phone usage to few hours a day we will be able to make the person sitting across the coffee table keep away his/her phone away and smile at us.